Bad moms—vote for me if you’re sick of being judged all the time
Being judged. Some of you will judge me when I tell you what movie I watched on Mother’s Day. None of my kids were with me, so Dan and I watched Bad Moms. Yes, it is rated R and filled with foul language, nudity and sexual references. But underneath all of that really is a story of a mom, Amy, who is doing her very best and is sick of being judged. Her nemesis Gwendolyn, played by Christina Applegate, is the PTA president and by all accounts appears to have an amazing life. Gwendolyn and her two side-kicks rule the school–including the soccer coach, played by JJ Watt. After she kicks her husband out of the house when she discovers his affair, Amy makes the mistake of telling Gwendolyn that she will not be at the “mandatory” PTA meeting. Gwendolyn shows her wrath by telling the soccer coach to bench Amy’s daughter.
Shortly thereafter, Amy, encouraged by her friends, decides to run for PTA president. Gwendolyn has a party, catered by none other than Martha Stewart. After feeling worthless and dejected, Amy almost throws in the towel. At the last minute, Amy’s friends coax her to show up at the election meeting and give her speech.
Amy appealed to the parents: “Vote for me if you are sick of being judged.” Spoiler alert: Amy won the election. Obviously, all of the parents were tired of Gwenolyn’s over-the-top ridiculousness, for being judged for not having beautiful homemade treats for the bake sale or not attending the “mandatory” PTA meetings. And the judgment goes far deeper than that. Gwendolyn judged Amy for having to juggle a job and being a single parent; for not driving the right kind of car, and for generally just trying to keep up in life.
“…Throw in a mental health issue with your kid and you really feel judged. “How did Susie screw up so badly that her son is so depressed?” “Susie must be a really bad mom because her son was suicidal.” I could go on and on…”
How many of us have felt like that as parents? Throw in a mental health issue with your kid and you really feel judged. “How did Susie screw up so badly that her son is so depressed?” “Susie must be a really bad mom because her son was suicidal.” I could go on and on
I would vote for a PTA president like Amy in a heartbeat. She was a little rough around the edges. But at the end of the day she was raw, honest and real about just trying to do her best and was sick of being judged for not being perfect. And guess what? Gwendoyln admitted to Amy after the election that being PTA president was the only thing she had and that her life really wasn’t the picture of perfection that she tried to convey.
My challenge for you is this: risk being a “bad mom”. Stop trying to put the perfect image on social media. Talk to your friends if your child is struggling. And BE a friend to the moms who have a kid who isn’t perfect. It’s just too much pressure on us and our kids. Because, guess what? None of us have a perfect child, and none of us is a perfect parent.
