Remember when your struggling teen was a sweet young baby? You celebrated every tiny thing—first smile, first coo, first word, first step. My advice to you now that that baby is a struggling teen? Do the same thing. You HAVE to celebrate the tiny victories.  “He made it through the night without killing himself.”  “He asked a question about someone else.” “He smiled. (That was a big one for us).” “He cracked a joke (another big one because Will is a super funny kid).” “He showed interest in ______ “ fill in the blank with whatever activity.  “I slept and didn’t wake up and run to his room to make sure he was alive.” “We talked about something else.” “He wrote something positive.” 

Getting better is a long road, and it takes time. I met with a mom about a year ago. Her son had been hospitalized twice for major depression.  He had been out of the hospital for a couple of days when we met. She was under the false impression that the worst was behind her and that he was all better now. In the most gentle way possible, I told her she was kidding herself.

“…Remember when your struggling teen was a sweet young baby? You celebrated every tiny thing—first smile, first coo, first word, first step. My advice to you now that that baby is a struggling teen? Do the same thing. You HAVE to celebrate the tiny victories…”

Parenting and loving a child with mental illness is like running a marathon, and she just passed the first mile marker.  But during that marathon, you must focus on the accomplishments of the moment in order to not give up. “I just passed another mile marker.””I haven’t puked.” “I don’t have any cramps”.  “I really can do this.”

I really can do this and so can you.